We were all pretty excited for Christmas break. The holidays can be a magical time after all! The lights on our Christmas tree were twinkling, songs full of cheer wafted through the house, and I was thrilled to be able to work on some cleaning and organizing projects while the kids played over break.
Boy was I wrong.
The past few years, sickness has been the unwanted visitor wreaking havoc on our holiday plans. This year, our immune systems must finally have recovered from the Covid-era! We somehow only had two bugs go through the family this Cold-and-Flu Season; one at the end of summer, and one after Thanksgiving. For this, I’m incredibly grateful.
What did happen over break, however, was far from my original plan.
First, the weather was gray, gray, gray almost the entire time. And wet, cold, and damp. It wasn’t cold enough to actually snow or anything like that. It was just muddy, dim and downright bone-chilling. My older kids pined away for that magical “white Christmas.” Meanwhile, I struggled to remember to use my special light that helps with my Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms. I felt tired, discouraged, and foggy more often than not.
Second, I have a ten-month old. I know I have one. But so often, the part of my brain that does conceptual planning and to-do lost making forgets this fact. Babies and toddlers are wonderful, but they take up lots of time. Besides the usual time-taking suspects like breastfeeding, mealtime messes, diapers, toy and all-over-the-house messes, and settling down for naps and bedtime, there is the extra time it takes to do anything with “help” from a highly curious small person.
The result of all this over Christmas was that I dreamed up waaaay more than I could reasonably accomplish in… a month…? Maybe longer. It felt like it took me an entire week to manage wrapping a few Christmas presents.
Third, my older kids just couldn’t get along. My dreams of everyone playing happily, for hours on end were frequently and rudely dashed by fights that I’d end up breaking up.
Naturally, some sibling conflict is inevitable. But this frequency of conflict was both unusual for us and highly frustrating for everyone. Between this, and the fact that my 10-month-old decided to have a major growth spurt and accompanying sleep regression over break, I quickly became exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally.
I honestly started out intending to take three weeks off from homeschooling this Christmas. But once New Year’s Day hit, I realized that our family had collectively had ENOUGH. Two weeks of some nice family moments peppered and punctuated by chaos and exhaustion had been plenty. Apparently, we just need the structure of our homeschooling routine right now.
We started back on January 2nd. And so far, we’re doing great.
I’ve put aside my unrealistic expectations for my “to-do” list and am much more at peace. I’m doing better at remembering to use my Happy Light, am sleeping better, and am feeling more human. My kids are doing better getting along, and we are working together to talk about character-building and healthy relational habits in age-appropriate ways.
Sometimes, I need to be reminded that being a mother involves a LOT of time invested in seemingly mundane things. But that time, and the children its invested in, is immensely valuable and worthwhile.
Sometimes as a parent I need a little God-given jolt to remember to keep up with how my children are growing, maturing and changing. That way, I can keep shepherding them well as they grow through each phase of childhood.
Sometimes, things simply don’t go like I planned. In these times and seasons, freedom is found in trusting God, letting go of expectations, being creative, and riding the wave.
